Thai students get caned in Thailand, St Mary's college

Schooldays the best days of our lives or so the saying goes. Now just recently there has been a rather big shit storm brewing.

Why?

Well a Thai teacher took it upon himself to cane some students. Now all hell has broke loose, what's the big deal? It's only a bit of corporal punishment for gods sakes! Jeez I bet at the end of the day these kids will probably thank the teacher.

Getting caned, it's not so bad after all

I knew many a kid at school who actually looked forward to getting a good old fashioned flogging. Why? many reasons, if you survived it and held back those tears, you were like the class hero! Yeah the tough guy. Especially if the teacher that caned you was a well known hard ass with a rep to go with it.

Getting caned at school, some kids just go back for more and more and yet more!

I remember a little hard core group of kids that always ended up getting caned at school. Now to most of us it just seemed like they were the naughty boys of the school and of course it didn't do their hard boys image any harm. Though you had to dig a little deeper to find out the real reasons behind their constant punishments. These guys actually enjoyed getting caned. Once I was even a witness to one of these floggings.

A rather tough hard ass teacher with a nasty rep was delivering six of the best to one of the naughtiest kids in the school. Half way through the punishment the lad let out a cry of Ohhhhh yeah...yeah harder sir, please harder harder!!! to the schocked dismay of the teacher and a huge barrage of laughter from the other students that were witness to the flogging.

The secret was well and truly out, and sir just didn't know what to do or where to put his red face! He'd been an unknown and unwitting participant in a young schoolboys sexual fantasies!

You judge, pain or pleasure?

Bribery & corruption in Thailand, a tourists friend in disguise

The boys in brown or the Thai police

part 3

As a traveler, expat or simply a tourist in Thailand you'll see these guys knocking around the streets on what I can best describe as chicken chasers. These are small powered cc motorcycles which these poor guys have to share one between two of them!

For the most part the average Thailand traveler or resident should have little or no contact with these people. However rarely are things that straight forward in Thailand, especially if you're doing something you shouldn't be doing.

Getting arrested

If you're unlucky enough to get arrested by these guys for whatever reason then you'll probably be given options, unless you've done something really OTT, then it's the jail house rock for you chum!

Paying a fine or donating some money to your policeman's favorite charity

God forbidding that you should get arrested in Thailand for some minor type offence then you'll usually get the option to escape going to jail by paying a small fine.

Lets give a an example here. For arguments sake, let's just say that you got a pull for speeding or making an illegal U turn in the street. The Thai policeman is going to ask you to pay a fine of around 100 baht. Now because you're a foreigner / tourist here in Thailand, the fine might be as high as 500 baht. You have the option of paying an on the spot fine or if you really want to you could make it official.

I don't like all this corruption I'll make it official, justice will be done!

If you choose to make it official then you'll most likely be hauled off down to the police station where you'll waste hours going through forms and causing our poor Thai policeman to do a lot of paperwork. He won't be sending you a christmas card after that! You've been warned.

At the end of it you'll get fined and in the mean time you might be put in one of those holding cells while they sort everything out. This can be very unnerving because you won't have a clue of your fate. You could even be held overnight, your punishment for making that serve and protect guy go through all that red tape.

On top of that, just imagine how wild your mind will run! All the old scenes from those old prison flicks will come flooding back. Who could forget scenes from the shawshank redemption and that classic greenhouse scene from scum. Just don't bend over to pick that bar of soap up in the shower!

Bribery & corruption in Thailand a third world state of affairs

A lot of people always moan on about bribery and corruption in Thailand especially amongst the Thai police. Let's just take a step back and put things into perspective here. Your average Thai policeman only earns a few hundred dollars a month. He has to buy his own gun and uniform these don't come cheap. He's hardly in the big time financially.

Many foreigners, tourists, backpackers and expats alike here in Thailand are always banging on about how terrible things like this are and it wouldn't happen in their own countries. Wake up open your eyes, (UK politicians of recent ring any bells?) it does happen! Though not at the lower levels of society anymore. It's been driven upstairs. The police don't take bungs anymore because they're too well paid. It's now the powers that be who are taking all that money under the table as they've always done. Corruption is there but it's just gone up the ladder a bit!

Bribery & corruption in Thailand. A friend in disguise

Have you been drinking? As the old saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining! This is especially true for the average Thailand tourist, traveler or expat in Thailand. Just take a second to reflect on this if you will.

Imagine that you've been busted for pot in your own country. Now your options here are pretty limited. You'll likely get booked and have to appear in court. Maybe you'll get bail maybe you won't, and to top it there could be a custodial sentence involved!

The same scenario unfolds in Thailand. What do you do? Just introduce the police to Mr Washington, Mr Franklin & Mr Lincoln. So long as you can produce the greenbacks, your escape from the bottom boy hell will be smooth.. Simply jump onto a plane and off you go into the sunset. Live to fight another day!

Best advice

The best advice is quite simple pay up and go. You save a lot of time and potential hassle, think yourself lucky! Don't begrudge the police of a bit of money, just think of it as their way of earning a bit of overtime!

Next time... How to bribe a Thai policeman

Part 2 How to avoid potential problems in Thailand.

How do I avoid potential problems when living in Thailand?

Part 2

Lets begin with why you are living in Thailand? If you are here living illegally, maybe working illegally on the wrong visa, without a work permit or you simply don't have a Thai visa and have overstayed, you really want to be avoiding any kind of attention. That means you don't want to be attracting the interest of the Thai police!

Don't use illegal khao san road Thai visa agents

Using a visa agent in Thailand is illegal(pit got mai) No matter what anyone tries to tell you on the contrary, it's unlawful. If you get caught, you'll get prosecuted and will do time!

So what could possibly go wrong? Thai visa agents often do not send your passport out of the country. They simple put a forged stamp into your passport in the shop. You get caught at a border point with a fake Thai visa and it's off to the slammer for you.

Don't get involved with narcotics in Thailand

Doing or getting involved with any kind of drugs in Thailand is very bad. Even smoking a bit of grass in the land of smiles could turn it into the land of frowns and get you a hefty fine with up to 3 years in the local slammer. At the end  you'll come out with a enlarged anus if you're a pretty boy, with some mental health issues thrown in for good measure!
Beware of drug stings where tuk tuk drivers and other lowlife will try to sell you some weed. You go along to a pre-arranged meet with them, hand over the cash and before you can say... i want that call to my lawyer now, You've been lifted. Options, just hope the Thai police that lifted you take mastercard or visa. And just pray that you've got enough greenbacks to send them on their merry way!

Thai girls & Thai hookers

Thai girls especially the kind of ladies that work in the entertainment business in Thailand are notoriously dodgy. Okay spending the odd night now and then with them is okay. However don't get too closely involved with them. Apart from losing the shirt off your back, they bring a whole host of other problems along with them, problems you can do without.

Most Thai hookers are known to the Thai police. They usually have a criminal record as long as your arm and are one step off being sent to jail. This coupled with the fact they are possibly smoking yaa baa, a strong and very illegal contraband is good enough reason as any to stay away from them

If you must use a hooker, then the best place to get one would probably be a massage parlor. Why? Simple. Massage parlor girls offer extra services on the side. You go in dip your wick and go home, and that's the end of things!

Living in the capital city, Bangkok

Most expats love the idea of living in central Bangkok. If you like the hustle and bustle plus the very handy nightlife of the nana plaza, patpong and soi cowboy, what could be better?

This is all good and well. However, if you're doing something you shouldn't be doing or in the country illegally then this could be your worst nightmare. You see, The Thai government frequently do raids. Raids for illegal workers, immigrants and virtually anyone else they can scoop up. Where does this all happen? Yes, you've guessed it, in central Bangkok! Nine times out of ten raids will be conducted in this part of town. If you just happen to be living there, you could get reeled in too.

To avoid potential problems like this, try living in the outskirts of the city. You could also life in the outer provinces. Here you'll avoid all potential troubles and it's also cheaper to live.

Next time.... The boys in brown or the Thai police!

Getting arrested in Thailand. Pay or go straight to jail!

Reasons people get arrested in Thailand Part 1


Probably the biggest numero uno reason tourists and backpackers find themselves in the brown stuff here in Thailand is narcotics. We all know or should be well aware of the fact that drugs and trafficking in Thailand is a very large no no with bells on!

Well that's what you'd have thought. Though there are currently hundreds of individuals each year who don't seem to understand this simple fact. They then wonder why they end up having a slightly longer stay than they'd first expected, all courtesy of the Thai government & the ministry of corrections. Oh how nice and accommodating these people can be.

The next reason tourists find themselves in trouble with the law here in Thailand is through sex offenses. Thailand has some great nightlife and the bars of Bangkok are very appealing for most western males seeking a bit of horizontal action.

The girls that work these establishments are called bar girls. The Thai bar girl can and often does dabble in narcotics, this is bad news for you! If she gets lifted by the Thai police and you just happen to be with her, then guess what? You'll get your collar felt too! Also if you pick up a girl younger that 18 you might end up getting busted for underage sex here in Thailand.

Yet another problem has to do with visa's and overstays. If you overstay your visa in Thailand, you'll be fined a set amount for every day you overstay. Oh well that's okay I'll overstay and just pay the immigration at the airport when I leave. Surprise, what happens if a Thai policeman should stop me on the street and ask to see my passport. If your visa is even one day out, you get automatically arrested and go to the Thai immigration jail in Bangkok. There you will stay until someone on the outside buys you a plane ticket and secures your release. After that you'll probably be escorted to the airport in hand and leg irons and physically put on the plane. You might even get blacklisted from Thailand too!

It's okay my visa is up to date, I use a khao san road visa agent every month.

Using a visa agent is now a very naughty(illegal) thing to do. In the past khao san road visa agents were notorious for taking money from foreigners and putting fake visa stamps in their customers passports. They looked like the real deal. Only at the airports or border check points did it become apparent to the unsuspecting punter that things were not quite right as he or she was led off to that small interview room.

Well it's okay I've been the victim of a scam, those naughty khao san road visa agents will pay and I'll be away, justice will prevail, right???? NO, you pay and they get away! That's the way Thailand works. You are a criminal, you used an illegal visa agent, you have no comebacks!

Working illegally in Thailand


Over the years many farangs have entertained ideas about coming to the land of smiles and working. However, sometimes this can be a little tricky. You see the Thai government know how attractive their country is to foreigners and they want to avoid opening the floodgates to lots of undesirables. Something western governments like the U.K seem to encourage, the opposite is Thailand.

Most occupations in Thailand have effectively been closed to foreigners. There is quite a list if you care to do a search. Things like taxi driving, market trading, building work etc are strictly off limits to foreigners. But hey it's not all bad news. If you can speak English you can teach it or something along those lines.

Yes and no. You see to teach English as a foreign language in Thailand requires you to have a degree and a TEFL certificate. The degree is the most important document. Without it you might find that you have trouble securing a work permit. Can you guess what's coming next? Most teachers only have a TEFL certificate but no degree. This doesn't stop most private language agencies in Thailand hiring you! So you'll be working without a work permit. If you get arrested it's down to you. Your company will get off scot free!

I'll just get an online degree from a degree mill, sorted!

Years ago this used to be the way to go. However with the advent of the internet it's getting increasingly easy to spot these moody degrees.

Think about it. You go for an interview. The boss says take a seat. You start conversing with him all is going well, he seems to like you. Then you hand over that document. Errr B.A hons university of mickey mouse. Moreover he has a laptop at his side and decides to quickly google this uni. Maybe he suspects you're not on the up and up or maybe he's just curious, either way when he arrives at that site and sees your piece of paper on there with a 50% discount sign on it if you throw in a masters, then you're well and truly busted my son!


Coming soon...
Part 2 How to avoid potential problems in Thailand.

How to pick up Thai women easily in Bangkok

Are you bald, Fat and ugly? Do you smell? Having trouble pulling the ladies? Or simply just not interested in the girls in your own country?

No worries mate! We've got just the solution for you.



Thailand is a paradise on earth for really smokin hot babes! If you're single or just plain bored with what passes for females in your own land then Thailand could just be the adult playground for you.



Take the Thai girl test before the shag fest begins!



Q: Are you looking for hot sexy fun with Thai girls?

A: I'm looking for sexy fun in Thailand. I'll shag anything except for one of those lady boys!



Solution: Pick up a Thai hooker, bar girl or Bangkok massage parlour girl. These girls work in the Thai entertainment industry. You'll find them in all the big resorts like, Pattaya, Phuket and Bangkok. In Bangkok they can be found in the larger entertainment complexes such as Soi Cowboy or The Nana Plaza on Sukhumwit road.



Types of Thai hooker you'll encounter



Knowing your pray in this game is king. They're the prey and not YOU! Keep this in mind when you are in negotiations with them!



Thai Bar girl:  Usually works the bars and charges the earth if she can get away with it. Once more down to you! After a bit of haggling a decent price can be settled upon. Remember you'll have to pay a bar fine to take her out of the bar for the night. Unless of course you pick her up after the place closes, then it's gratis!

Freelance Thai hooker: Freelance Thai street walkers usually hang around streets like sukhumwit road. They are usually quite forward in trying to solicit you. Just walk down the street and listen for that hey sexy man, I love you long time Well worn line, it's a dead give away.



Freelance Thai street meat as I like to call them work for themselves, no bar is involved. You can get some pretty good prices here if you play your cards right. On the downside, these girls are totally unregulated so std's could be a problem. Just make sure you put one on the end of it, or maybe two. Watch out for Thai lady boys(katoey) trying to pass themselves off Thai ladies. I know it sounds crazy, but some poor punters have been caught out before. If in doubt stick your hands down there if you feel a couple then get out of there fast! Remember nuts are only for squirrels & monkeys!

Massage parlour girls: These girls work in massage parlours. Believe it or not some of them offer a little more than a good old pommeling down. It's called extra's. Anything from a BG to full hanky panky is on offer. How far it goes will be down to you. You could even arrange to meet them after work and go back to their place or your hotel. Keep in mind that the only tip they should be getting from you is the one that looks like a German helmet with a Japs eye on top.



I want to do something really naughty :-) My girl doesn't understand English. Help!



Most Thailand tourists will run into the language barrier. I mean where would you learn a phrase like... I want to eat your pussy from, yaak kin hoi. None of the so called  phrase books like that dare tread such ground.



One such book dares to go there. The thai bar guide. This is a great little book and has all those naughty phrases in that you can't learn anywhere else.



Firstly you get to know your girl... Hello how are you sawatdii khrap pen yang ngaai baang.



Where do you come from.. kun maa jaak thii nai



Then after that you move in for the kill with phrases like... less talk and more sucking is better  poot noi noi chai paak ye ye dee gwaa



Fed up with your girl? Then dump her with phrases like... you are stupid and ugly get lost  ngo lae naa kliat pai klai klai

Now go get em!

Living & Working in Thailand, No Visa or Work Permit required!

Thailand is a great country, sun, sea, sand & sex. It attracts a large number of foreign visitors every year, some even entertain notions of living here! This is where it can become complicated.



Living & Working in Thailand



Living and working in Thailand is not always a straight forward affair. In fact it can get downright complex for some foreigners.



Firstly, most jobs are closed to foreigners, this means jobs like taxi driving, shop jobs and manual labor are out of the question for the avarage farang.



After that you've got the Thai visa system. It's all become such a nightmare. You simply can't get back to back visa's from neighbouring countries anymore, or there is a limit on how many they'll allow you!

So with all those factors against you, you might well be asking yourselves, how can I live and work in Thailand without a visa & work permit????

I'll tell you how! Just follow these simple steps. I'll be asking you a couple of very important question. You need to be able to answer them honestly and you need to be 100% committed to spending the rest of your days living and working in Thailand!



Question: Are you fed up with your life in your country?



Answer: Yes



Question: Are you willing to give up everything in your home country for life?



Answer: Yes



Then you might just be up to what I'm about to reveal to you. The master shall giveth his secrets to you!


Part 1 Find a Thai girlfriend from the IIsaan region of Thailand



Find yourself a bar girl or any other girl who hails from the northeast of Thailand. You can find loads of girls like this in Thailand. Try hitting 7-11 stores, supermarkets or Bangkok bars. You need a girl who has an upcountry house. They usually have a farm way out in the sticks.



Part 2 make sure you have a bit of cash from your own country



Always make sure you have a few grand in cash as you'll need it. Just think of this as your start up cash. It's a one time investment to kick start your new life in Thailand.



Part 3 Go to the girls home and build yourself a little house there on a spare piece of land.



Do the above and build yourself a little dwelling. Doesn't have to be big just enough to live in.

How do I live & work in Thailand, I need an income???



Okay, you need an income. However, here's the clever bit :-) Living out in the sticks in Thailand is cheap. You could get by on 2,000 baht per month or less. Remember  you don't have any rent to pay! All you need is food and water + beer, let's not forget the important things!

So how do I make money in Thailand?  Well this is the easy bit. You'll have to travel into the nearest provincial town a few times a week to use one of the many internet cafe's you'll find there.



Now, you'll be working on the net doing things like...






Writing articles for blogs, content writing. Bottom line 3$ an article or more.



Blogging + adsense ads extra money per month.



Affiliate marketing from your blog.



Teaching English part time or privately



Put your girl on the game, only if you feel comfortable with this



Set up your own village English school where you live, trade lessons for food drink,  beer

Sell Thailand products on ebay



Write books and live off the royalty payments



And lots more!



So what about my Thai visa?



So far there has been no mention of visas, they are important aren't they? Yes, though you'll be opting out of the system. In other words you won't be renewing it again, ever! This is why you are living out in the sticks. No one to check up on you. And if you really don't want to go back to your country then it might just be a small price to pay.



A Thai police man keeps asking me how long I'll be staying here, I'm getting nervous. What can I do?

Firstly don't panic. He's probably just curious. If things take a turn for the worst just bung him a few baht every now and again. That'll keep him quiet.



What happens if I get caught?



If you live out in rural Thailand and don't do anything silly that'll get you noticed, this won't be a problem. However, the bottom line is this...



If you do get caught, you'll get sent to the immigration jail in Bangkok and then after you've been processed, sent back to your own country.